


Grin and Bare It

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Embarrassment, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Nudity, Public Nudity, casual nudity, wardrobe malfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Harley has an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction while fighting Batman and feels humiliated. The Joker thinks it's hilarious which makes Harley feel even worse. To remedy this, Harley visits Poison Ivy who claims that there's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to exposing the human body. At first Harley doesn't believe Ivy. So Ivy decides the both of them should put her beliefs into practice.





	Grin and Bare It

**Author's Note:**

> i set out to write smut but ended up with a kinda fluffy that just happens to have constant nudity in it. the writing process is a mysterious thing.

"Faster, Harley! He's gaining on us, you useless broad!"

"Please don't yell Mistah J. We can make it to the car!"

It was supposed to be a simple bank robbery. Something simple, fun, and classic to entertain them while Joker thought up a more complex scheme. But the Joker and Harley Quinn were learning that things never turn out exactly as you planned them.

Harley stumbled over herself, bags of cash in hand, as she fled from both Batman and Robin. The Joker was already in front of her and Batman was rapidly gaining on her.

"What part of faster didn't you get!" Joker hopped into his car as he shouted.

"I'm doin' my best here, puddin'!" Harley nearly dropped a big of money but a quick maneuver kept it in her grasp. "Almost there…"

"You're not going anywhere, Quinzel!"

Harley didn't look behind her but she felt how close Batman was and tried to run faster. This backfired when she nearly tripped over herself, allowing the Dark Knight to catch up.

"Come on, come-" Harley's self motivation was cut short when she felt a gloved hand grab at the big dangly tails on her hood. This caused her to lurch again and drop one of her bags of loot. She went on running and felt the hood pulled back; her pigtails blowing in the wind now.

Batman's grip around the hood was tight and Harley was persistent in her escape. She ran forward more and for a moment Harley considered herself successful. At least, she thought that until she heard the sound of ripping fabric and felt the cool night air on her back.

"Oh boy… Really wish I was wearin' undies now…" Harley did not look back but she realized that, while she had gone forward quite a bit, the back of her bodysuit had ripped all the way from the top down to her butt.

Clearly, Batman was not used to dealing with situations like this and he let go of Harley as a result. Sensing freedom, Harley ran. She was more concerned with her freedom than her dignity by this point and her eyes were focused on the Joker's car.

"Here I come Mistah J…"

Harley may have thought she was free, but Batman was not ready to give up. He took two Batarangs off his belt and threw them at Harley. The idea was he'd hit some of the loose fabric on her bodysuit and pin her to a wall. But in his haste to catch her he ended up throwing them too hard. The Batarangs tore straight through some of the fabric dangling by Harley's sides, leaving only the top and bottom halves of the black and red bodysuit attached by a thing dangling thread.

"Don't think about it, just keep runnin'…" the realization that she was close enough set in and Harley tossed her take from the robbery into the back of the purple convertible. She ran around the side and opened the door. Hopping into the car, Harley realized how cold the seat was against her bare bottom.

The car took off just as Harley was pulling the tail that had once been part of her costume into the car. Once it was all in, Harley slammed the door shut. With the adrenaline of her escape gone, Harley took a few breaths and it was then quite a number of things finally registered to her.

First was her state of dress which immediately made her blush beneath her clown makeup and second was the fact that Joker was laughing quite uproariously. Thinking back, Harley realized he'd been doing that for a while. Harley grabbed the torn up bits of her costume and tried to use them to cover herself up. After a couple more seconds, Joker's laughter died down.

"Oh my, Harley. Excellent distraction work. Almost seems like something I'd come up with." Joker glanced from the road over to Harley. "No way Bats can catch us now."

"Thanks puddin'… Didn't do it on purpose though."

"Hmm, makes sense. Guess you really aren't smart enough to think that one up." Joker chuckled.

"Heh, yeah guess not…" Harley tried her best to laugh but grew more and more frustrated and embarrassed as she tried to cover herself up.

"Harley girl, do me a favor."

"What's that Mistah J?"

"Take off the rest of that ridiculous outfit? Everything's practically exposed already."

"Guess you have a point, puddin'…" Harley looked down at her tattered clothes. She slid out of what remained of her bodysuit, leaving her completely naked save for her domino mask and face of white makeup. Immediately, Harley regretted this decision and moved her knees up to her chest in hopes of hiding her breasts.

It was by this point that the Joker had gone back to laughing his crazed laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, it's just this whole situation is rather fun for me. Not something you see often. Don't you think? Handsome devil in the front seat and an adorable naked minx next to him."

"Uh, thank you." being called both adorable and a minx lifted Harley's spirits a little bit. But this did not last very long. Harley replayed what had happened with her and Batman in her head a few times and she became even more embarrassed. "Do you think Bats liked seein' me like that?"

"Ha! Probably!" the Joker cackled. "The only time that buffoon ever touches a woman is when he's arresting them. That was probably like Christmas come early for him."

"And that doesn't make you all jealous?"

"Oh, not really. You're not much more attractive than the next woman I could find."

Scowling, Harley moved her legs and looked down at her naked body. "I think I'm pretty hot…" she looked around and felt even more exposed. "Puddin'… Could ya put the roof up? I don't want anyone to see me."

"Well that's what makes it funny, isn't it?"

"I guess…" Harley crossed her arms over her chest. "You don't think Batsy's gonna tell anyone how he saw me almost naked, do you?"

"Oh, definitely. At the very least, that sidekick of his is going to find out. Ha! He'll be jealous. Maybe some of the fellas in the Justice League too. Isn't that a laugh?"

Harley frowned and sunk down in her seat. "Why aren't ya jealous? I want ya to be jealous."

"Oh, I'll take a good laugh over jealousy. And trust me Harley, Batman getting an eyeful of you is one of the funniest things I can imagine."

The rest of the car ride home was silent. As soon as they got to the hideout, Harley tossed her ripped up clothes to the side and made her way toward the bedroom.

"Now where are you going, Harley?" the Joker spoke up when he saw Harley moving.

"Gettin' into some real clothes."

"No, I don't think so. I like having something pretty to look at. Not to mention, I think you look rather silly in nothing but that mask. And I love silly. So you're going to stay like that until I say so."

"Wha- Whatever you say, puddin'…"

Harley spent the remainder of the night without any clothes on. In that time, should could not help but be worried about what Batman thought of her body or how many other people saw her on the drive back to the hideout. Her biggest worry was about whether or not the Joker would tell any of the other Gotham criminals about this. She wondered if from now on she'd just be known as Joker's clumsy assistant who didn't wear panties. The Joker's casual disregard of her feelings for the sake of what he thought was a good joke did not help Harley feel much better.

Later that night, or technically the next morning, that Harley woke up at four o'clock. Still naked and still feeling like crap. As covertly as she could, Harley got out of bed and went to the hideout's dresser. She threw on a pair of short-shorts and a loose tank top and slowly made her way past Joker and her sleeping pet hyenas over to the exit.

"Won't even notice I'm gone…"

Harley left the old warehouse she lived out of with the destination in mind being Poison Ivy's home. Whenever Harley felt low, Ivy was always around to give her the self esteem boost she needed.

It took an hour and a half to reach Ivy's house on the other side of Gotham but Harley stood on her doorstep and waited for an answer at the door, she told herself it was worth it. After repeatedly knocking on the door for what felt like ages it opened up and as expected Poison Ivy was on the other side.

"Jesus, Harley, it's five in the morning. Are you okay?"

"I am now, Red!" Harley threw her arms around Ivy. "Oh, it was terrible… I felt so small and dumb…"

"It's okay, whatever happened I'll make it better. Come on, let's get you inside. We'll get you whatever you want." Ivy hugged Harley back.

"Thank you…"

Whatever Harley wanted turned out to be an ice cream sundae and a screening of Legally Blonde. Ivy didn't have much of a sweet tooth and thought the movie wasn't funny but she stuck it out for her friend. Harley had stopped by so often that early morning screenings of comedy films had become a common occurrence for Ivy.

After the movie was over, Ivy decided it was an appropriate time to ask about exactly what happened this time.

"So Harley, what did the Joker do this time?"

"Oh, it's not his fault this time. Well, mostly." Harley grabbed on to Ivy's arm. "I was tryin' to escape from Batsy and he accidentally ripped up my costume. 'N you know how I stopped wearing panties after they always rode up in the suit. So Batman got a good look at my tush, right? Then when I was in the escape car with Mistah J, he told me to take off my suit since it was ripped up enough already. So I did. Anyway, now I'm worried about who else mighta saw me. Not to mention Mr. J and Batsy blabbing about what happened."

"I don't think you have to worry about Batman. The Joker, on the other hand... He'd probably do anything to make you feel small and insignificant. So he'll probably be telling some of his criminal buddies about that."

"Oh, that's terrible! Pammy… Do you know any way for me to feel less embarrassed about myself?"

"If you want to know what I think, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." Ivy gently stroked Harley's cheek.

"Whatta you mean?" Harley looked into Ivy's eyes.

"Nudity, it's a natural thing. Clothing is just a prison for the body designed by humans. When I'm alone here I don't like wearing clothes. You should try it, Harley. It can be liberating, even empowering."

"Yeah right, if it really was empowered you wouldn't just do when you're by yourself." Harley crossed her arms. "Never seen ya flaunt your stuff around in public. Only time I ever see you nude is in the Arkham showers."

"I'm just worried about men leering at my body is all. If it wasn't for that I really would be naked all the time." Ivy claimed.

"How about you try it anyway?" Harley smiled up at Ivy. "Next time you wanna rob a jewellery store or try to mind control some kinda charity ball you should do it in the buff."

"I… I'm not sure. Only if you did it with me. I'd feel more empowered if we were both taking charge of our bodies."

Harley thought about this proposition for a moment. After the humiliation she experienced, Harley was not eager to purposefully be seen without any clothes. But on the other hand, Ivy had a way of making everything sound appealing.

"Alright, I'll do it!" Harley hopped up from the couch. "But… Let's try to keep a low profile about it, okay? I don't want people to get the wrong idea."

"Harley, you need to stop caring so much about what these other humans think." Ivy stood up as well.

"I'll try." Harley nodded. "So Red, do you have any big heists planned?"

"Actually I do." Ivy smirked. "It's hard to obtain the right equipment for my botanical experiments. I could buy it illegally but I'm strapped for cash right now. So I was planning to go raid a laboratory tonight. Care to tag along?"

"Of course." Harley continued to nod.

"Great. Meet me here at eight PM, don't wear anything. And enjoy the rest of your day." Ivy turned and walked away from Harley.

For the rest of the day, Harley was unsure what to do. Part of her worried about leaving Joker alone, but she then remembered it usually took him at least a day or two to realize she was missing. So instead, Harley spent the remainder of the time she had watching a few other movies Ivy had on DVD.

Eventually, it was almost eight and Harley had stripped down naked. There was a full length mirror kept in Poison Ivy's bedroom and Harley stood in front of it. She looked over her own body; inspecting every detail she could find.

"Oh yeah hot stuff, you got this. You got perfect boobs, long legs, and a nice butt." Harley told her own reflection. "If anyone sees ya, it's their privilege. This is empowering, just like Pammy said… Speakin' of which, I'd better go see her."

With her self motivation finished, Harley marched out of the bedroom and back into the living room. Ivy already lay in wait, standing in the centre of the room completely naked.

"Ah, there you are." Ivy turned around to see Harley. "Ready to go?"

"Uh, yep…" Harley uncomfortably turned away and then consciously covered her own breasts with her hands.

"You don't need to do that. This is about empowerment." Ivy gently grabbed Harley's wrists and moved her hands. "Besides, like you said, you've already seen me naked."

"In the Arkham showers though. We're supposed to be naked there. You don't pay attention to it." Harley looked down.

"If this makes you uncomfortable we can go put some clothes on."

"No, it's fine. Just takes some getting used to. It kinda feels nice to be nude already." Harley observed her own body for a moment.

She then turned her attention to Ivy's body. For a couple moments, Harley looked Ivy's green skinned body up and down. Part of her felt jealousy but mostly she was just impressed with how well Ivy maintained her body. Harley's eyes lingered on Ivy's pubic area. It seemed like it had been many, many months since Ivy last trimmed her pubic hair.

"Need to do some landscaping, eh Pam?" Harley giggled. "Don't get me wrong, I like to keep some hair down there. But your bush really looks like an actual bush."

"It's natural this way. I don't have to conform to human standards of beauty." Ivy looked to Harley's crotch and noticed her short brown pubic hairs. "Hmm, I forgot you're not a real blonde."

"Well, I sometimes forget you're a natural redhead." Harley looked back to Ivy's face. "You know, this ain't so weird now. Already feelin' empowered. I think I can do this crazy exhibitionism thing."

"In that case, let's go. My car is out back." Ivy walked out of the living room and beckoned for Harley to come.

"I'm followin' you, fire-crotch."

This comment made Ivy chuckle a little.

Nearly an hour later, both women were nearing the target of their robbery. Harley had gotten into the back of the car while Ivy drove. For the sake of their own personal hygiene, Ivy had placed towels down over both seats before they sat down. Poison Ivy looked in the car's mirror and saw Harley seemingly trying to grab something on the floor.

"Everything okay back there?" Ivy adjusted the mirror to look at Harley better.

"Just lacin' up my shoes. Way I see it, it's easy to hurt your feet when you're in the nude so I decided to put on my sneakers just in case." Harley sat up, having apparently tied her shoes. "Makes me feel kinda sexy to be only wearin' shoes actually."

"Hmm, I wish I thought of that. I'll just have to be careful." Ivy began to slow down their car. "Alright, we're almost here. You take out the security cameras, I take out the guards. Then we converge and take the target."

"Sounds great! You got my spare hammer in the back, don't ya?"

"Of course I do." the car came to a complete stop in the back alley behind a laboratory. Ivy reached for the door but stopped before grabbing the handle. "You know Harley, this is all a little silly. Want me to grow us some clothes before we break in? Honestly, this whole thing is a rather convoluted way to prove my point."

"What's a matter, you chicken?" Harley giggled.

"No. I realize that you're a very emotional person and wouldn't want to humiliate you with this situation."

"Ain't humiliated, Pammy. You were right, it feels great when I'm au naturel on my own terms." Harley opened up the door on her side. "C'mon, let's get in there!"

"Glad you're enthusiastic. Let's do this." Poison Ivy opened her door and stepped out of the car.

It was then that the raid on the lab began. Harley did her best to dodge the view of security cameras as she made her way to the control room. While she did this, Harley grew excited. Something about intentionally being naked some place she shouldn't be made her all giddy inside. She didn't know whether or not this feeling was arousal but she didn't really care. Harley banished these thoughts from her head once she found the control room.

She bashed the door in with her hammer and found that it was only guarded by a trio of security guards. They were caught off guard by her presence. Clearly, they did not usually deal with naked women wielding sledgehammers.

"Hey there, boys! Mind if I come in?" Harley hit one of the guard's in the head, knocking him out. Before either of the other guards could react, Harley knocked the both of them out with her hammer. "There we go. Now how do I shut these cameras off?"

Harley looked around the room and saw what looked like some kind of central unit.

"Gee, this thingamabob looks important." Harley brought her hammer down on the box, smashing it. "Whoops! Hahaha! Alright Harley, now ya just gotta go find Red."

With the cameras disabled, Harley went to go find Ivy. She was rather easy to find, all Harley had to do was follow the trail of plants and unconscious guards. This led her to Poison Ivy inside a laboratory filled with all sorts of equipment Harley didn't know the use for.

"Hey ya, Red! How goes it?" Harley walked close to Ivy. "I took down the boys with the cameras no trouble. And it looks like ya got most of the security here. Did ya have to kill anyone?"

"No. Well, at least I wasn't trying to." Ivy picked up a container adorned with warning labels. "One man made a comment about my bosom. Said they looked nice. I nearly snapped his neck with a vine. But I decided he wasn't worth it."

"Bosom? Who says that anymore?" Harley laughed.

"Yes, that was an odd word choice." Ivy nodded.

"By the way, the guy ya almost killed was right. Ya do have a nice bosom."

"Why thank you." Ivy smiled. "But let's get back on track. Just help me transport these to the car."

"Okie dokie!"

The rest of the plan, for once, went off without a hitch. Harley ended up being a bit disappointed by this. Part of her had hoped more people would see her nude body but another part of her was relieved she didn't have to deal with the possible awkwardness that could ensue.

But those possibilities didn't matter. Harley and Ivy loaded what they needed into Ivy's car and they had a nice, leisurely drive back to the hideout.

"Hahaha! Aw man, Red. This was fun!" Harley cheered as they sped down a dirt road toward Ivy's home. "Nobody's ever gonna believe those guards. If they tell anyone they'll sound like a bunch of loons. Ya can't tell people you got robbed by two naked chicks without soundin' crazy! Ahahaha!"

"Not to mention they'd end up sounding like perverts for saying that." Ivy smirked. "I did not expect this to be so much fun, Harley. I know it was my idea, but I was skeptical."

"It's like ya said, Pam. It was natural, liberating, and not to mention a little sexy!" Harley confidently put her feet up on the seat in front of her. "Can't wait to try this stuff out when I get back to Mistah J."

"Maybe stay with me for a bit longer. After all, I'm sure you're still pissed at Joker for laughing at you."

"Just a little… I'll give him a couple weeks." Harley nodded. "'Til then, think we can do more exhibitionist stuff? It's a blast!"

"Sure, I'm glad you're into it. I had no idea it would be so entertaining. Honestly, I felt so powerful back there."

"Maybe we can let some more people see us next time?" Harley put her hands together, suddenly lost in a fantasy.

"Really?" Ivy chuckled. "How daring. And to think, this morning you came into my house crying because of a wardrobe malfunction."

"Oh trust me Pammy. I ain't ever gonna feel humiliated again! 'Cause I look great naked 'n I don't care who knows!" Harley burst out into loud maniacal laughter. "You look great too, by the way."

"Why thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." Ivy smiled and looked at Harley through the rearview mirror. "Hey Harley, do you wanna cuddle under some blankets when we get home?"

"Why not, Red! I'm up for anything! Feels like I'm on cloud nine!"

Harley went straight back to laughing as the car picked up speed, sending the two gorgeous, nude criminals closer to their home.


End file.
